A flock of sheep were stopped by frontier guards at the Russo-Finnish border. “Why do you wish to leave Russia?” the guards asked them. “It’s the NKVD”, replied the terrified sheep. “Beria’s ordered them to arrest all elephants.” “But you aren’t elephants!” the guards pointed out. “Try telling that to the NKVD!”
At a UN meeting in 1985, an American diplomat, surprised by the change from the old and ill Brezhnev, Andropov and Chernenko to the young and healthy Gorbachev, asks his Russian counterpart: “So what support does Gorbachev have in the Kremlin?” The Russian replies, “None, he walks unaided.”
Gorbachev received a letter from the Byelorussian Republic requesting approval for a new Navy. He was quite puzzled, as the Republic was landlocked and didn’t even have a decent lake, and queried the request.
The reply soon came “Uzbekistan has a Ministry of Culture, so why can’t we have a Navy?